Thursday, June 26, 2014

Well, Luis Suarez has seemed to be cruising through the world cup until this happened: -
he decided to have a taste of something or someone Italian,
he bit someone...not once... not twice but three times, and from the way I saw its like something possessed him and he just bit the guy, like when a vampire sees blood. So twitter decided to have ago at him and I haven't stopped laughing. So here are the best ten: -

1. I have to admit, the teeth do look scary Luis Suarez.
 2.
Got some Italian meat stuck... who knew Italian was soooo chewy...
 3.






4
tasty Italian
This is one of my favourite, and a bit scary I guess,
5. Here are some statements that wreck havoc on Luis Suarez's mind: -
Let me chew on that
I will eat them alive
6.
I guess Luis Suarez had heard women all over the world claim Italian men were deliciously hot, he had to taste that for himself.


7.  I guess Luis Suarez loves his meat flesh and probably alive and with some blood on need. 'Meat one bone' others would say.

8.
9

 10
Well, he's home now where he belongs. I hope his wife we'll make him a meal that he can sink his teeth into and no one will judge him.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

BYE BYE TEAM CAMEROON

If there’s an African team that didn’t deserve to play in this World Cup, that would be Cameroon. Literally, no wait…seriously, they didn’t even qualify, well they did on a technicality. Then when they got the golden opportunity they decided to start with some drama, men with drama not so cool, they went on a strike and refused to go to Brazil if their allowances and bonuses were not paid, I wish they had just let the opportunity pass, declined to show up in Brazil. Not that its Samuel Eto’o’s work to pay player allowances or Alexander Song’s, but they are among the world’s best paid players, their leadership of this team could have been crucial. Once they landed in Brazil everything went from bad to worse, here why: -
·         They played more as individuals and not as once as a TEAM. I saw Alexander Song and Neymar showing more team spirit than our African boys during the game. (Well in another league, in another place, they are.)  Cameroon was a team of unequals and you bet they proved it more than once. Their egos were way bigger than their team spirit and game, and their side shows kept us entertained but for the one billion African fans they were hugely a big disappointment.
·         http://images.tvnz.co.nz/tvnz_images/football_news/2014/06/neymar_after_being_pushed_over_E1.jpgTheir game was too physical, I found it wise to say a silent prayer every time the ‘boys’ took to the field. ‘Dear Lord, help this team to be slow to anger…no red cards, just the yellow please…thank you.’ I mean did you see poor Neymar pushed from the back, while he was already off the pitch, that meaningless physical assault came out of nowhere. They were also physical towards each other, I get it whenever a team loses at such events the tendency is to blame another team member, but do it in the dressing room, but the golden rule should be ‘headbutting your teammate is not cool.’
Now that Cameroon are out of the world cup, I would hope before the next tournament not hear about strikes, I also hope they deal with their issues at anger management classes because in all their games they truly deserved to loose, and most importantly, I hope they learn to play as a team, not as big names that play for top clubs in Europe and poorly paid home grown players.
Oh well! Adios! And please return the bonuses, as a sign of good will.

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQA6qk2-ovtm2_sRGhbG6Y9jfXHP1d1tuNoEaC2kkUVF0Lr__7f6A
Guys the whole world is watching stop it


Friday, June 20, 2014

why women should watch the world cup

WORLD CUP WIDOWS: I BEG TO DIFFER
Hey, I have a couple of reasons why women should watch the world cup,   during the world cup, women are called ‘world cup widows,’ plus a whole lot of other unkind names, but that should not be the case as I am going to prove, women fans have so much more fun watching football than male fans, that’s because there’s more to appreciate that the game, here goes: -
·         Football players represent all that a woman could ever dream off, these men are at the peak of their lives, their young, they are hot (and even if they start off average looking, they have so much money, that they can buy any body part that they want, teeth, hair, just ask Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney. Hey, it’s no secret, a man with money is very attractive ‘wink wink.’ See all women love a man who can drive their imagination wild. And in the world cup, the men come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities and nationalities; it’s the perfect opportunity to admire beauty at its finest.
·         It’s like watching a soap opera, one of the reasons women love soap operas it’s because of the passion and emotions (hey did you see Cristiano Ronaldo when they played Germany seems like he needed a shoulder to cry on, or Iker Casillas after their demolition by the Netherlands, yep, his girlfriend got no kisses that night, or the faces of the Englishmen every time their team loses, heart wrenching, you’d think they’d be used to it by now, the hot men remind you of the Octavios of the soap operas), the suspense (especially during penalty shoot outs, your knee feel weak, your heart flutters as you wait for the outcome, because at times they don’t get it) the rivalry between the villain and the protagonist, the joy it brings when the team you’re supporting wins the joy is immense, you just want to jump up and down, and the final match, it’s like the final episode, someone has to lose and another has to win, it may leave you in tears but you’ll never forget it!
·         We all need to let out a good scream or shout every once in a while, and in a football match we can let out a good shout especially when your team scores, you can jump up and down and it won’t seem strange. We can let out a bit of steam without screaming at someone and no one will think you’re strange.
·         It’s a good way of meeting men! Now ladies visit a sport bar and spot your dream mate.  Position yourself next to him, and find out what team he’s supporting. Now don’t talk to him during the game that won’t be taken too well! Follow the game, know basic football lingua and use it appropriately, be mad at the referee and the other team and let it show in your face. Address no one in particular but show it that you’re there for the game. You’ll end up being the goal scorer.
·         For the love of the game, football is amazing, and I don’t say this as a fan, I also say this as someone who has played football, played in a tournament where my team won as the rains poured, I did not care that my hair was natural or that it took me weeks to finally manage to comb it, the adrenaline was amazing, I did not even want to be substituted, and I have also played in a game where we lost 5 nil, I literally cried. So I understand the game inside and out. In campus I risked walking from Lower State House Hall (I can’t remember the name of the men’s hostel) to Hall 12 at times past midnight, alone, because I had to watch a football match.
See ladies, don’t be a world cup widow, let’s give our men the half Monalisa smile, let them think they are enjoying the World Cup more than you. Yet for us, it’s a fiesta and the pleasure it brings us, no man will ever understand.


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

World Cup Awards

WORLD CUP 2014 GROUP STAGES ROUND ONE AWARDS

The most anticipated sports events the ‘World Cup’ is here and it’s been nothing but spectacular, mostly and all the teams have played at least a game each, so because of being so entertaining and presenting their countries so well, awards must be given, so here goes: -
·         Netherlands (Most interesting team so far), thanks to the Flying Dutchman for reminding us just how beautiful this game is supposed to be.
·         Joachim Loew, German Team Coach (Hottest coach of the tournament, the guy is yummy, I doubt this will change any time soon) If you don’t agree there’s something wrong with you!
·         Neymar, The Brazilian Forward/Winger
 (For being the hottest player of the tournament, move over Cristiano Ronaldo, there nothing hotter like a man who can swing his hips and is easy on the eyes.)
·         Cameroon (Most disappointing African team), come on Samuel Etoo and co. I wish they would have carried the same passion they had when demanding for better ‘wages’ from their government. Hope it will not be a case of ‘we came, we saw and we’re conquered.’
·         Ivory Coast fans (For supporting your team the best way you know how, shaking your tushi’s like they knew they hot, which they were.)
·         Japanese fans (Picking up after yourselves, is there a book Kenyan parents can buy, because some really need some tips, case point have you ever met some of those rude parents with equally rude kids in public transport who will not give you their unpaid seat until the tout tells them to!)
·         Team Brazil  (is my team for the ‘diva’ award, they went down so quickly, and stayed there, someone cc this to Catherine Alouch, you got some competition girlfriend.
·         Nigeria verses Iran (boring team award) who said a draw has to be boring, I dozed off a couple of times. I mean the Nigeria we know would have entertained us to the final minute even if it meant losing!
·         England (for the most obvious team of the tournament so far, overrated, underperforming, and mostly disappointing! That was so obvious, despite changing tactics, hiring Steven Hawking a Theoretical Physicist you still managed to disappoint as usual! Yet we always expect more from this team.
·         Brazil: (Patriotism Award, both team and fans, singing the national anthem from their hearts, . Maybe one day we will all be proudly Kenyan, coz right now we are not, we are proudly tribal, if our team did make it, we would be worried about what tribe was not represented and which one was over represented.
·         Didier Drogba: (He still got it Award). For proving that he still got what it takes to take his country forward and make Africa proud.
·         All African fans: (Forever Hopeful Award) for always hoping that ‘this world cup will be our world cup!’ One day it will be an African World Cup!’


More awards will follow soon. Keep watching the world cup!

World Cup Awards

WORLD CUP 2014 GROUP STAGES ROUND ONE AWARDS

The most anticipated sports events the ‘World Cup’ is here and it’s been nothing but spectacular, mostly and all the teams have played at least a game each, so because of being so entertaining and presenting their countries so well, awards must be given, so here goes: -
·         Netherlands (Most interesting team so far), thanks to the Flying Dutchman for reminding us just how beautiful this game is supposed to be.
·         Joachim Loew, German Team Coach (Hottest coach of the tournament, the guy is yummy, I doubt this will change any time soon) If you don’t agree there’s something wrong with you!
·         Neymar, The Brazilian Forward/Winger
 (For being the hottest player of the tournament, move over Cristiano Ronaldo, there nothing hotter like a man who can swing his hips and is easy on the eyes.)
·         Cameroon (Most disappointing African team), come on Samuel Etoo and co. I wish they would have carried the same passion they had when demanding for better ‘wages’ from their government. Hope it will not be a case of ‘we came, we saw and we’re conquered.’
·         Ivory Coast fans (For supporting your team the best way you know how, shaking your tushi’s like they knew they hot, which they were.)
·         Japanese fans (Picking up after yourselves, is there a book Kenyan parents can buy, because some really need some tips, case point have you ever met some of those rude parents with equally rude kids in public transport who will not give you their unpaid seat until the tout tells them to!)
·         Team Brazil  (is my team for the ‘diva’ award, they went down so quickly, and stayed there, someone cc this to Catherine Alouch, you got some competition girlfriend.
·         Nigeria verses Iran (boring team award) who said a draw has to be boring, I dozed off a couple of times. I mean the Nigeria we know would have entertained us to the final minute even if it meant losing!
·         England (for the most obvious team of the tournament so far, overrated, underperforming, and mostly disappointing! That was so obvious, despite changing tactics, hiring Steven Hawking a Theoretical Physicist you still managed to disappoint as usual! Yet we always expect more from this team.
·         Brazil: (Patriotism Award, both team and fans, singing the national anthem from their hearts, . Maybe one day we will all be proudly Kenyan, coz right now we are not, we are proudly tribal, if our team did make it, we would be worried about what tribe was not represented and which one was over represented.
·         Didier Drogba: (He still got it Award). For proving that he still got what it takes to take his country forward and make Africa proud.
·         All African fans: (Forever Hopeful Award) for always hoping that ‘this world cup will be our world cup!’ One day it will be an African World Cup!’


More awards will follow soon. Keep watching the world cup!