During my first days in high school, I saw a tall brown skinned boy and fell head over heels in love with him, he was not like the boys in my primary school, who I thought were immature, though i did fall for one of them, but these form three boy made me forget about him, the only one i could think about was him and how hot he looked, i could tell he was becoming a man because his beard was beginning to show. I was hooked, positively knocked out by him, i thought i was in heaven.
He was a prefect, a tough mean spirited bully of a prefect, you should have seen the soldier like tough look he gave the students on line at the dining hall whenever he was prefect on duty. It scared me too, at first i thought he was a kitchen worker, one employed by the school to make sure that the students formed a straight line and that they observed strict discipline.
Being a small baby faced girl, i felt that many of the students i would see would fall under the category of 'men and women.' and me a baby. It's funny how these 'men' captured my heart and made me see myself as a woman too.
Whenever i would make a presentation in the chapel he would be seated at the very last row, clapping in the air jokingly just for me laugh, yet i was in front, i had to hold it back and look away just to avoid seeing his childish antics, otherwise i would make a fool of myself.
My heart longed for him and sure enough we would hang around and talk, i have no idea how it all started but it did. Then one day he came to my class. My heart leapt with joy, thinking he had come for me, the other girls would be dead jealous, he was coveted after all, and the boys would realise that he was after all a gentle creature, one capable of loving. But the main question on their mind would be." How did she do it?"
I smiled satisfactorily at myself. I followed him out and i was swinging with his hand, was so happy. I was playing with him and he was enjoying it.
But i was not the only the one, there was someone else on his other arm, the girl he had come to see, the most beautiful girl in our class, he liked her and she liked him. None of them had an idea that i liked the boy too, and if they did, they never showed. I had no choice but to move on, being a lady i cannot hold on to the hand of a man who doesn't love.
Disappointed i watched them walk away together. He wasn't made for me.
The lesson was, in life i will love many who will not love me back, but the true measure of love, and greatest lesson of love is walking away when you know the man is not yours. Love is not selfish, if he loves someone else, or if he is married, i have no right to interefere, because forced love and rape are the same thing.
I am glad i fell for him because it taught me what love is all about.
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